


Not Up For It

by queercapwriting (queergirlwriting)



Series: Hey Sweetie [5]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F, ace!shaw, but also like hot??, my babies Have The Range, root x shaw fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:34:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28271718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queergirlwriting/pseuds/queercapwriting
Summary: Anonymous asked:Okay so I know it's canon that root and shaw have v good sex. But like, maybe Shaw isn't always up for sex when Root is (but is sometimes v up for it)? And finds it super hard to say no but tries to not pressure herself bc that makes it worse? And Root is super understanding but shaw still feels bad but doesn't know what to do? Def not based on my life.///Shaw not being always up for it is also canon and it is absolutely perfect and beautiful I love this prompt with my whole soul.///
Relationships: Root | Samantha Groves/Sameen Shaw
Series: Hey Sweetie [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538479
Comments: 8
Kudos: 92





	Not Up For It

She loves the knowledge that she can give Root a look - anywhere, at any moment, in any absolutely impractical and probably life-threatening situation - and Root would, and does, melt for her.

Emotionally, physically. Sexually.

It’s more than a little heady, knowing that if she so much as bites her lip in Root’s general direction - even and especially when bullets are flying - Root’s eyes will glass over with want. And if she so much as glances at her lips, Root will drop down to her knees.

“All you need to do is let me worship you, Sameen,” Root had whispered into her neck one of the first times they slept together. And the way her breath had felt, the way her voice had sounded, the way her eyes had looked... Shaw will never, ever forget.

She thinks about that, a lot, when she’s alone and cold in a hotel bed on a mission that’s taken her too far from Root’s arms.

Not that she’d ever say anything like that out loud - that she misses being in Root’s arms when they’re away from each other.

Root knows. Bear knows. Hell, even Reese and Harold know.

Shaw loves the way Root looks at her - like she is the universe itself - and, if she’s being honest with herself, the woman is the most attractive human being she’s ever laid eyes on.

Maybe that’s because of the ways that Root turns Shaw’s volume up without wanting her to change anything at all about herself.

Maybe it’s because of the way Root makes the most heavenly sounds Shaw’s ever heard when they’re in bed together.

Maybe it’s the way her entire body calms when Root presses her forehead to Shaw’s.

Maybe it’s all of it. All of Root.

And Shaw likes sex. A lot. She especially likes sex with Root.

She wasn’t sure if she would. Not physically - physically, she knew they’d have to-die-for chemistry. And she wasn’t wrong.

She wasn’t sure if she would be able to do the whole, sex with feelings thing.

But apparently, she can do sex with feelings - at least with Root - and she can do it well. She can enjoy herself, and feel warm and safe - her safe place - and smile when she’s wrapped in Root’s bed, Root’s bare legs straddling her naked body...

But she... doesn’t want to, all the time.

She strongly suspects that Root would undress for her under pretty much any circumstances, at the mere breath of Shaw’s suggestion. But Shaw just... doesn’t always feel up for it.

Sometimes, she just wants to get off - something mechanical. And it doesn’t feel right to be mechanical with Root, so she doesn’t want to do anything at all.

Other times, she wants to make love to her, and it’s too much, because that’s never how she thought of herself, and it’s overwhelming, so she doesn’t want to do anything at all.

And other times, she just... straight up isn’t in the mood.

And guilt isn’t something that Shaw feels a lot, but sometimes, she finds herself feeling guilty.

Because Root’s eyes are magic, and they’re stardust (when did she start thinking gross, cheesy things like that?), and sometimes she looks even more like a puppy than Bear does.

How can Shaw say no to magic, and stardust, and a freaking _puppy?_

  
One night, she tries to push past it. She’s done it before, with other people, when she’s wanted to get off and another person wanted her body. And Shaw is nothing if not excellent at disconnecting from herself.

Root notices immediately. Shaw’s lips must be stiffer than normal, her movements a little more stilted. Or something. Dammit. Root wasn’t supposed to notice. She’s a former damn assassin, for crying out loud. She should be better at this. She must be losing her edge.

“Sam,” Root says, her hand on Shaw’s cheek, her forehead on hers. Root licks her lips, and for a moment, Shaw thinks she’s going to keep kissing her. And it’ll be fine, because it’s Root. It’ll be fine, and eventually it’ll even feel good, because it’s Root. She won’t mind, not that much, because it’s Root. She sighs internally.

But then Root is kissing her nose instead of her mouth. “You can tell me, Sameen,” she’s saying, and Shaw’s brain takes a minute to catch up, because Root is tugging her sweater back on. There’s no irritation in her eyes, no steel, and no impatience.

Shaw doesn’t get it. She just stares.

“Tell you what?”

“You can tell me when you’re not in the mood, Sameen. I _want_ you to tell me. Just because I _can_ spread my legs for you every moment of every day doesn’t mean I have to.”

There’s teasing on her lips and in her voice, but her eyes are wide and genuine and... and concerned.

“I don’t mind, Root - “

“Shaw,” Root interrupts, her tone just slightly firmer. She’s shaking her head, and she takes Shaw’s hands into her own. Months ago, the action would have felt strange, foreign. Forced. Now, it feels natural. Shaw gulps.

“I don’t want you to _not mind_ having sex with me. I want you to want it. Desperately.”

“I -”

“And when you _don’t_ want it, sweetie, then I don’t want to have it. Simple as that. If you don’t want it right now, then I don’t want it right now.”

Shaw blinks. “What, just like that?”

Root leans in close. So, so damn close.

“Just. Like. That.”

She steals another kiss to Shaw’s nose, then flomps next to her with the immediate switch from utterly sexy grace to utterly graceless ridiculousness that only Root can pull off. She leans over to their bedside table, grabs her glasses and a massive book, and snuggles into Shaw’s shoulder.

Silence fills the room. Shaw watches Root read, her heart slamming in her throat.

She does not ask insecure questions. She does not ask feelings questions. She does not...

“You’re not mad?”

Immediately, Root’s glasses come off and she sits up straighter, nose to nose with Shaw. “Sweetie, I’m not mad. I will never be mad at you for not being up for sex. And if I ever find the person or people who made you feel like you had to or you had to feel bad about it, I will kill them. Slowly. And I will enjoy it. Just because I’m a reformed killer for hire doesn’t mean I don’t still have skills.”

Three words she never thought she’d think, let alone say, bubble up in the back of Shaw’s throat. She swallows them down, but she sees the flicker in Root’s eyes. She swears Root heard the words inside her body.

“What are you reading?” she asks, shifting so their bodies are even closer together.

Root smiles and puts her glasses back on, melting into her like she’s never been happier.

“A book She suggested on quantum nonlocality. Want me to read you some?”

Shaw knows most of it will go over her head, but she also knows that Root’s voice is her home. She nods, and she kisses the top of Root’s head, and she smiles as she listens.


End file.
